At a young age I was robbed of my innocence, and as a result, two significant wounds to the very heart of who I am formed. I was gripped by fear. I was an extremely fearful child but mostly, I was afraid of people. Specifically afraid of people becoming angry, I shuddered if anyone would raise their voice. Second, I had little to no self-esteem which was coupled with a hunger for attention from the opposite sex.
I did not understand why I said and did the things I did, why did I continually make bad decisions even though, rationally, I knew better. There was no shaking off the fear that tormented me. I wondered why I acted like those girls with “daddy issues” when I had a wonderful father.
When I married, I thought the hunger for attention from men would finally stop, instead, it grew worse. Seven years into our marriage, sitting on the floor of our guest bedroom, I told my husband exactly what I had struggled with seemingly my whole life, I confessed that recent actions had placed our marriage in jeopardy.
My husband had a decision to make, he decided to stay and explained to me he was staying strictly out of obedience (as you can imagine I was not his favorite person in that moment), he felt it was what God wanted. I am writing this blog just 1 week after our 20th wedding anniversary. I am living proof that healing is possible and that God’s promises are true.
It is my sincerest prayer that the following posts bring hope and encouragement to whatever you may be facing today.